I'm gonna drive until I break down.

Seriously.
It was just one of those days, when on the drive home I contemplated just going over the side of the freeway.
Suicidal?
Nah, just a brief moment of weakness. I did think about just driving and driving until I ran out of gas, but seeing as to how I only had 1/4 of a tank of gas, I probably would've gotten to about...oh maybe Alamogordo. It was one of those days where it just really frustrated me to live here, and not for any particular reason. I'm just sick of it. It's so hard to go anywhere in this city without being reminded of something or someone. Yeah, I'll admit it, I'm leaving because I'm running away. From what? From everything. From every single memory I would rather forget. Do you know how long I avoided the east side because of...yeah, you know? This place is so small, pretty soon, I won't be able to go anywhere, as if it isn't bad enough as it is. I feel like every year that I have to stay here suffocates me a little more every time. I don't know what it is, okay I do, I'd just rather not say, that has made my having to leave an ABSOLUTE MUST! But I'll hold it in till I have to for the short two little years that I have left here. Then it'll be on to something new and a brand new start where I will finally be able to put this place behind me.

Scribbld Numbers

Write it down,
write it up.
Scrawl it on my arm,
or jot it down on a note,
these seven numbers,
a picture isn't the only thing
that can speak a thousand words.
Subtlety is vital,
it's for help,
it's for just in case,
the true reason never revealed.
A hidden message,
shaded in numbers,
masquerading as innocence.
Scribbled on paper,
typed on a screen.
Let's exchange these digits
and never mention the truth,
the secret of what they mean
buried beneath the ink.

Answering the age old question: Can you be friends with an ex?

I always thought the answer to this question was yes, but recent events have led me to think that I might have been wrong. Here's the situation, I dated this guy in high school, let's call him J, and we only went out for 4 months (very short, I know, but it was high school). I broke up with him because I graduated (he was younger) and I didn't want to start a new chapter of my life, college, with such strong ties to high school. I pretty much just wanted a clean slate to work with. Start over brand new. Plus, I didn't really see a future, but at 18, who does? Needless to say, he had fallen in love with me, but was very understanding about the break up and we decided to stay friends. That was two years ago, and now I think of him as one of my best friends. You should know that a best friend to me is someone I can really trust, and being the only guy in my life who has never hurt me, I have come to really trust him. Up until a few weeks ago, maybe the last couple months, things started getting a bit uncomfortable. He never hid the fact that he never totally got over me and that he's pretty much still in love with me. He's had maybe 5 or 6 other girlfriends since we broke up, none lasting more than a few months. Being an overprotective best friend, I never really liked his girlfriends (not out of jealousy, but because he really does pick bad girls to go out with), except for the one he's currently with. At least until a couple of months ago. There was a herpes scare, I won't go into details, but he was scared he might have Herpes Simplex I because of a child at his work (he works at a daycare). Turns out, it was just a scare and he was fine, but when his girlfriend found out, she broke up with him. Aside from the fact that she had already cheated on him, this was what made me really not like her, that she supposedly loves him, but breaks up with him when there's a slight bump in the road. She's kind of immature and a little slutty. Anyway, I really thought this girl could be the one to finally make him get over me, but since she cheated on him, she kinda lost it. ALL of his girlfriend have cheated on him. I never did, which is one of the reasons he says I was the perfect girlfriend. Anyway, we've been hanging out quite a bit, not alone though. I hang out with my best friend Jessica, and since her and J work in the same place, he usually tags along. I never really minded it until he started to come on a little strongly. He'd always flirted with me but up until recently, it really started making me uncomfortable. He'll put his arm around me or things like that, and I really don't like anyone to do that unless we're in a relationship or dating.
I have told him numerous times that I only see him as a friend, that I love him to death, but I'm not in love with him. I have made my feelings very clear. Sometimes, it really gets to me, that I start getting bitchy, and then he says he's sorry, but that he doesn't know how to stop, blah, blah, blah. Short of taking some time apart from each other, I really don't know what to do. He's an amazing person, but he's just a friend, and I know that I in no way feel any romantic feelings for him at all. Somehow, though, this message just isn't getting through to his head, and I'm afraid that if he doesn't stop, I'll have to put our friendship on hold because it really is getting ridiculous. My theory is that since we went from being together to being friends in such a short time, he never really had time to get over me. Since I broke up with him, I was already over him, but I guess he got the short end of the stick on this one.
So help me, what should I do? Stay friends and hope he gets the message? Or take some time off so he can get the chance to get over me?

No help for the skinny girl

In the short journey (till now), that is my life, I have come to several realizations that most people don't come to until it's too late. One of these, happens to be the importance of one's health. For the past few years I have tried, without success, to gain weight so that I may be at a healthy weight. Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough, but sometimes, things just get in they way, usually school, and I just lose my focus. Instead of eating right, I just grab anything that'll fill me up so I can get back to studying. Anyway, in this little adventure of mine that has been going on since high school, I have spent countless hours researching ways of gaining weight but in way that is healthy. Seem like a paradox? Yeah, it pretty much is. Trying to avoid going to a dietitian (no health insurance), I've tries searching online for websites that would give me, something like a plan to help me out. I recently noticed that Yahoo! had added a new health section. I noticed a part that calculated your BMI, so I tried it out, turns out my BMI is 16. Did I forget to mention I'm 5'6" and weigh less than 100 pounds?? No, I'm not anorexic, nor do I have any other eating disorder, just a very fast metabolism. Anyway, this part of the website is meant to help with your diet, but when I put in my weight goal of 110, it very kindly told me that, "We regret, however, that we are not yet able to prescribe a diet plan that makes you put on weight." So, because I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum, what, I get bubkis? Just because everyone and their mom seems to want to lose weight, it does not mean that it applies to everyone. Hopefully, sometime soon, there will be help for the skinny underweight ones, who like the overweight people, are only hoping to reach a weight for themselves that is healthy.