Memories.

I was randomly browsing my journal the other day and came upon this entry.

"Sunday, June 5, 2011

I didn't go to UC Davis. I stayed. Because it was safe. Because it was comfortable. Because I chickened out. So much changes in a year and yet so much stays the same. I'm still vying for the heart of a boy who I'm almost 100% positive no longer wants me. But it's that almost that keeps me back, that almost that makes me think there may still be a chance. So I stick around. I joke, I make bets and keep agreeing to his crazy ideas because like he said, it may be the last time I get to say yes. Because I keep thinking that this time, it's ME that needs a second chance. And it's that small ounce of hope, like when he says he has to take advantage because I never talk to him, that keeps me around."

 "I'm still vying for the heart of a boy who I'm almost 100% positive no longer wants me."


That line. To me, it's one of the best things I've ever written.

I have no recollection of writing this entry.

I wrote it on my birthday.